Vampocalypse

Twilight is basically everything that is wrong with society today. It’s kind of symbolic of our continued moral decay and bleak consumerism. Let me illustrate.

The main character is in love with a vampire. Vampires are dead. This is called necrophilia.

The main character is also in love with a werewolf. Werewolfs are beasts. This is called beastiality.

The main character is also 17. The vampire is like 100. This is called pedophilia.

I’m sitting at home watching new moon instead of being at school because I’m bored. I’ll probably update this with more reasons why this movie is a trashpile.

EDIT:

Kristen Stewart: I can’t even think about someone hurting you.

Robert Pattinson: Bella, the only thing that can hurt me is you.

EDIT: She gets a papercut and the vampires start going crazy.

EDIT: Anna Kendrick is kind of amazing, maybe this movie is salvageable.

I stopped watching to go to class for an hour and don’t think I am going to finish it later. Rating is 3/10.