Futureality

I am not pleased with my itunes top 25 right now, I had no clue I listened to so much Tim Minchin. Which is reasonable, but then again it’s not really music is it, and I have a reputation to uphold here.

Anyhow. I’ve been applying to colleges lately, and of course this is beyond late to be doing this in March but I like living life on the edge so it probably suits me. Few things.

I’m not quite sure I actually want to go to college. I haven’t really undergone a period of deep contemplation on the subject yet, but overall it seems like an expensive waste of time. I’m probably never going to adhere to a corporate setting and what is college actually if not training for corporate America. Do I want to endure another 4 years of school in order to be Primatek’s bitch until I’m 50? I don’t exactly imagine myself as the most subversive person, but it’s not like I enjoy mundune social experiences.

But then reality sets in. And I assume I’ll need a job at some point. And would being a lawyer be that bad? For instance, I really like the TV show Boston Legal; Alan Shore seems to have it pretty good. It’s probably a testament to the force of the entertainment industry that I find the most acceptable career path to be attorneying.

Oh and the perks, there must be tons of perks. What if I get bored at a trial? I could mess with the jury a bit, because everyone knows that none of the trial matters until the closing statement. I’d use certain rhetorical devices in every sentence just to see if they’d notice. Synecdoche Sundays and Metaphor Mondays. This is all tentative, but I could see myself mouthing Humbert Humbert at the jury when defending pedophiles. This may or may not make me the coolest lawyer around, just sayin.

The larger question is where will I be in 10 years. Will I be that creepy guy who looks at you in the urinal? Will I be the crazy mustached guy who talks to strangers on the subway? Well maybe just crazy, my mustaches tend to be half assed no matter how long I grow them.

Sometimes by talking to people you can tell things about them, and this is more nuanced than just stereotyping. I’m not talking about seeing a black person and concluding “Well obviously he likes fried chicken”. But somewhat intimate and often bizarre details. Like the other day I was talking to this random guy at the CVS as he comes up to me and decides to talk about the recent earthquakes. I don’t remember what we talked about but I do remember thinking that this man probably owned a few animal pelts at home. Probably a bear skin rug. Probably a panda bear skin rug.

In the future, am I going to be the guy you think is creepy enough to own a panda bear skin rug or am I going to be the guy who actually owns a panda bear skin rug because I’m that badass?