Crinkly Fresh

I've moved into my new blog and hopefully all goes well. I've moved some of my older posts into this one and will probably start updating this soon. I'm at the airport right now so I should go catch my flight before I'm stranded. Well not stranded considering I'm 15 minutes away from my house but before I miss my flight.

Popmark or Bookcorn

These are my currently bookmarked movies on PassThePopcorn. I’m waiting for DVDrips on all of these to materialize. I realize that this is just a list of movies to come out recently, but whatevs.

Shawn Levy - Date Night

Matthew Vaughn - Kick-Ass

Louis Leterrier - Clash of the Titans

Steve Pink - Hot Tub Time Machine

Dean DeBlois & Chris Sanders - How To Train Your Dragon

Mark Steven Johnson - When in Rome

Andy Tennant - The Bounty Hunter

Miguel Sapochnik - Repo Men

Jim Field Smith - She’s Out of My League

Tim Burton - Alice in Wonderland

Antoine Fuqua - Brooklyn’s Finest

Kevin Smith - Cop Out

Tim Blake Nelson - Leaves of Grass

Chris Columbus - Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

Joe Johnston - The Wolfman

Breck Eisner - The Crazies

Garry Marshall - Valentine’s Day

Pierre Morel - From Paris with Love

Martin Campbell - Edge of Darkness

Michael Spierig - Daybreakers

Michael J. Bassett - Solomon Kane

Martin Scorsese - Shutter Island

Albert Hughes - The Book of Eli

Miguel Arteta - Youth in Revolt

Druxting

Via Facebook.

Katrina Ludwig: soo…. i mean our chat was interesting at 8:12 am
p.s. I am including your amazing spelling of things…
you: penis factoiry
me: cute charles
you:no ur cute
me:i am so cute!
you:i am giogn to sleeep. don’t get anyan cuter!

Charles Chy: i wish you would stop drunk texting me

Katrina Ludwig: OH PLEASE! do not even get me started! i did not even. your “penis factory” text at 201 was greatly appreciated. bitch.

Charles Chy: i apparently sent out quite a few of those O.o

Kristen Nymberg: at least he didn’t tell you you had pennies in your vagina

Katrina Ludwig: oh god

Valerie MacLaughlin: omg i loved how i received texts from u charles, describing how big your penis was. thanks

Katrina Ludwig: Oh wait, I’m sorry Charles. Who needs to atop drunk texting? Hahahahaaha

Sintelligence

I was playing a game of Dota just now and had been watching the movie Charlie Bartlett on Showtime. Along the way the movie ended and it switched onto one of those high production value (relatively) softcore porno’s. I started paying attention when my game ended and they were doing a scene where the actress (female pornstar) has a conversation online with a random guy. I had two problems with this. The first being that the conversation was talking place on an open word document and you could see her typing both parts of the conversation. I mean really. Example follows:

Roan:
Who is going to keep you safe when I’m gone?

Trish:
My stocker.

Which leads me to my second point, the character types in “stocker” when she meant “stalker”. And I know this is true instead of her (still incorrectly) intending something along the lines of a person who uses the stock market because of the continuing portion of the conversation.

Trish: Yea, my stocker, he’s been following me around the past few days and making sure that I’m safe.

It kind of astounds me that of all the people that had gone into producing this movie, NO ONE, was able to correctly spell “stalker”.

Omegle at 5 AM

I seriously went 6/6 on instant disconnects; not feeling the love.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi! Do you happen to have blue hair?
You: no but i have 3 cocks
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: asl?
You: do you want to play hide the zuchinni?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: i m male
You: they call me simba, will you be part of my gay pride
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: 20 m usa
Stranger: hi
You: i can’t taste the flavor sour
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: i can’t see my feet over my stomach anymore
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: soooooooooo bored
You: let’s be facebook friends
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Vampocalypse

Twilight is basically everything that is wrong with society today. It’s kind of symbolic of our continued moral decay and bleak consumerism. Let me illustrate.

The main character is in love with a vampire. Vampires are dead. This is called necrophilia.

The main character is also in love with a werewolf. Werewolfs are beasts. This is called beastiality.

The main character is also 17. The vampire is like 100. This is called pedophilia.

I’m sitting at home watching new moon instead of being at school because I’m bored. I’ll probably update this with more reasons why this movie is a trashpile.

EDIT:

Kristen Stewart: I can’t even think about someone hurting you.

Robert Pattinson: Bella, the only thing that can hurt me is you.

EDIT: She gets a papercut and the vampires start going crazy.

EDIT: Anna Kendrick is kind of amazing, maybe this movie is salvageable.

I stopped watching to go to class for an hour and don’t think I am going to finish it later. Rating is 3/10.

Futureality

I am not pleased with my itunes top 25 right now, I had no clue I listened to so much Tim Minchin. Which is reasonable, but then again it’s not really music is it, and I have a reputation to uphold here.

Anyhow. I’ve been applying to colleges lately, and of course this is beyond late to be doing this in March but I like living life on the edge so it probably suits me. Few things.

I’m not quite sure I actually want to go to college. I haven’t really undergone a period of deep contemplation on the subject yet, but overall it seems like an expensive waste of time. I’m probably never going to adhere to a corporate setting and what is college actually if not training for corporate America. Do I want to endure another 4 years of school in order to be Primatek’s bitch until I’m 50? I don’t exactly imagine myself as the most subversive person, but it’s not like I enjoy mundune social experiences.

But then reality sets in. And I assume I’ll need a job at some point. And would being a lawyer be that bad? For instance, I really like the TV show Boston Legal; Alan Shore seems to have it pretty good. It’s probably a testament to the force of the entertainment industry that I find the most acceptable career path to be attorneying.

Oh and the perks, there must be tons of perks. What if I get bored at a trial? I could mess with the jury a bit, because everyone knows that none of the trial matters until the closing statement. I’d use certain rhetorical devices in every sentence just to see if they’d notice. Synecdoche Sundays and Metaphor Mondays. This is all tentative, but I could see myself mouthing Humbert Humbert at the jury when defending pedophiles. This may or may not make me the coolest lawyer around, just sayin.

The larger question is where will I be in 10 years. Will I be that creepy guy who looks at you in the urinal? Will I be the crazy mustached guy who talks to strangers on the subway? Well maybe just crazy, my mustaches tend to be half assed no matter how long I grow them.

Sometimes by talking to people you can tell things about them, and this is more nuanced than just stereotyping. I’m not talking about seeing a black person and concluding “Well obviously he likes fried chicken”. But somewhat intimate and often bizarre details. Like the other day I was talking to this random guy at the CVS as he comes up to me and decides to talk about the recent earthquakes. I don’t remember what we talked about but I do remember thinking that this man probably owned a few animal pelts at home. Probably a bear skin rug. Probably a panda bear skin rug.

In the future, am I going to be the guy you think is creepy enough to own a panda bear skin rug or am I going to be the guy who actually owns a panda bear skin rug because I’m that badass?

Binstitution

School is such a trash bin. Or so I’ve decided after weighing the pros and cons.

Cons:

• It seems utterly flatulent that I have to wake up at 7:45 to go to class just to sleep again. Why can’t I just stay in bed and enjoy some consistent REM. It’s like hitting the snooze button every 5 minutes for an hour and waking up crankier than if you had never tried sleeping.

• Asbestos. I’m pretty sure there are asbestos flakes falling from the ceiling and landing on me throughout the day. My immune system is being compromised and I won’t stand for it much longer. I need my immune system to do various things,.

• My teachers’ idea of an educational experience is to use a powerpoint extracted from the text book and then read off the powerpoint as if that will offer any particular insight. What is the point? I’m more likely to synthesize information without your annoying voice harping at me. Just give me the textbook and let’s go.

• THERE IS NO AIR CONDITIONING. THIS ISN’T A SCHOOL IT’S A GAS CHAMBER.

• I swear to god the school district has made it a point to make the curriculum filled with the most useless information. I don’t think I have learned a single thing in the public school system since like Algebra II in 8th grade. For instance, why the fuck do I need to learn about allusions in books written by Maya Angelou. You’re black and a woman, and were raped, I get it.

Pros:

• Free breakfast, but I will never wake up early enough to eat it.

Carlame

I went to Carla’s late last night.

Me: Why don’t you ever wear this?

Carla: That’s a shoestring.

Snoowzing

I didn’t go to school again today. Here’s my logic.

There’s a big snow storm coming in tomorrow making it unlikely that I’ll have school Wednesday or Thursday. Taking these two days off means that I’ll have the whole week off. And I wasn’t in school Thursday or Friday of last week.

Blowing off ethereal obligations has never felt so good; who cares if vacation days aren’t scheduled mid February. And I like sleeping in.

Evegangelicalism

I typically don’t mind vegetarians, but why are vegans so pious.

I will not cease to eat my steak on the basis of your moral authority. Please stop preaching to me.

When I ask, “what motivated you to pursue this lifestyle”. Your response is, “meat is disgusting”. Because your lentil and legume soup looks so appetizing.

Why do you want to save the environment so much? What has it ever done for you? Very likely it has left you anemic and prone to allergies. Have you ever actually seen the environment? I propose you spend a week in the rain forest, and then re-evaluate how much you really want to save it.