I figured out how to always win fights that you are having on facebook. Whenever the other person posts - all you have to do is press the like button for each one. He'll end up confused about whether there actually is an argument to begin with and give up.

Me: We've been driving down this road for like an hour, maybe you should stop and ask for directions.
Zack: I would rather fucking die than do that.

[5/10/2011 8:58:14 PM] Maddy Stein: we can roofie people at vbi

[11:46:27 PM] Y Y: hey chy
[11:46:28 PM] Y Y: wts his
[11:46:32 PM] Y Y: email again?
[11:51:59 PM] Charles Chy: seriously???
[11:52:01 PM] Charles Chy: scroll up mother fucker

Me: Stop holding me down, this baby bird needs to fly.
Megan Werner: Fly, Fly! (Flaps arms)

Me: What are you doing?
Alex Koren: Eating pineapple.
Me: Why?
Alex Koren: For the ladies.

Driving home from Philadelphia, Lost in the middle of nowhere in pitch black darkness.

Me: DUDE WE'RE GOING TO FUCKING DIE!
Pyzik: Chill out I think I know where we are.
Me: Alright, why don't you pull into that driveway until you're sure.
Pyzik: No dude, fuck that, that's where the spikes pop out of the ground and slash our tires and we're fucked. I've seen the movies.
Me: True that, U-turn.
Pyzik: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?!
Me: WHAT THE FUCK FOG!?!?

icemann182002: YOU ARE FUCKING GAY IF YOU READ THIS.
violinist394: Fuck.
Jambalaya : shit, I guess I'm gay now
Shibs: What? I can't make out the message.

a black baby died and went to heaven
and god looked at him and said, "you've earned your wings"
and gave the black baby wings
the black baby look up and said, "am i really an angel now"
and God looked down and said,
"HELL NAW, NIGGA, YOU A BAT"

Heres the history of our medicine.
"I have a sore throat."
2000 BC : "eat this root"
1200 AD : "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1500 AD : "That prayer is superstition, drink this elixir."
1800 AD : "That elixir is snake oil, Take this pill."
1900 AD : "That pill is ineffective, Take this antibiotic."
2000 AD : "That antibiotic is artificial, Here why dont you eat this root."

7:43 pm Katrina: haha oh dear. well i actually have to go start my homework! text me if ya want!
7:43 pm Charles: alright, pce

An hour passes...

8:45 pm Charles: what happened to homework?
8:45 pm Katrina: i hate homework!

mikeyhassin (1:18:48 AM): his expando is thinner than a holocaust survivor

awk109: dude they have iphone-internet tethering in africa, AFRICA, they don't even have like real food and
water over there

rose2280: ohh i awww
me: are you vocalizing?

susanna: how do you win at sex
me: the fact that you asked that question
means that you already lost

Sophie: omg i want to see the video
that's insane
me: WTF
YOU WANT TO SEE THE VIDEO!?
Sophie: i just want to see the part
me: he bursts two of the testicles
Sophie: where he tries to grind the bones

dynamicchuck12: macs are pretty gay
awk109: so are you
awk109: i see a relationship in the near future

Charles: Wsup
David: i took a big poop now i'm really tired
Charles: LOL
David: it took a lot out of me

Katrina )
Charles (
Katrina oppps i meant hello
Charles common typo

Angela: If i put out a piece of banana, fruitflies will grow from that.
Me: No they won't.
Angela: Yes THEY WILL!!!

Diana: sorry for being an ugly badly dressed ho

Jalon: white bitches love wiz khalifa

Me: are you sure
Me: you aren't just annoyed instead of mad
Me: girls have problems identifying emotions some times
Maddy: what is the difference?
Me: exactly
Maddy: what's the difference????

Sophie: I'm so annoyed that there isn't a gender neutral individual third person pronoun.

Me: you wanna hit up maingate tonight?
Zackary: i never want to hit up maingate. homeboy.

So much fail he needed his own section.

me: i want to figure out why i'm not seeding
Larry: do u have seeding turned on
me: ..
don't talk anymore please

Larry: here we go
found her
http://www.facebook.com/search/?flt=1&q=xxxxxx%20xxxx&o=2048&sid=828377866.3698543223..1#!/xxxxx?v=info
I FEEL SO DIRTY NOW
I FEEL LIKE A STALKER OMFG


Larry: you're terrible?
BURNEDDDDDDD
:D
SUCK THESE LITTLE CHINESE NUTS
LATER GAYBOY

Larry: dude
omg
a mosquito
fucking raped my face
me: when did you get it
Larry: i guess
idk
i just looked in the mirror
and was like wtf
happened to my sexy face

Larry: you
Larry: piece
Larry: of fuck
Larry: i have
Larry: debate
Larry: college apps
Larry: school work
Larry: and extra studying
Larry: along with basketball
Larry: practice in a month
Larry: all hanging over my head
Larry: you fucking shithead
Me: at least you don't have girl troubles

Larry: holy shit
Larry: tornado
Larry: and flooding
Larry: in dallas
Larry: omfg
Larry: we're flying into a tornado
Larry: wtshitwtshit
Me: rofl i hope you die
Larry: fck u

Larry: WHY
Larry: IS TPB
Larry: DOWN
Me: they got sued
Larry: yeah
Larry: back in like may
Larry: werent they back up
Me: nah
Me: they got pwned by the lawsuit
Me: down 4 good now
Larry: oh damn
Larry: really
Me: yea
Larry: pwnt
Me: NAWT
Me: LOL
Larry: WOW
Me: NAAAAAAAAAAAWT
Me: LOL
Larry: FCK U
Larry: FCK U


Larry: LOL
Larry: i heard jeff
Larry: just showed u a picture
Larry: and was like "theres a dude that looks just like charles"
Larry: in the background
Larry: ROFL
Me: i can't see
Larry: wanna know why?
Me: the picture
Larry: IT IS YOU
Larry: LOL
Larry: jeff's such a fucking idiot

Larry: yo how hot is this chick
Larry: WTF
Larry: skype cant copy and paste
Larry: asdfag
Larry: why
Larry: cant skype
Larry: fucking copy and paste
Me: you're really
Me: struggling tonight
Me: aren't you
Larry: YEAH
Larry: WTF
Larry: WHY CANT I COPY AND PASTE

me: i heard you love the cock
get on let's play some t1
Larry: WHOS YOUR SOURCE
yes i love cock
especially big black cock

Larry: ill watch the trailer
are u pullin my leg
or is it actually a good movie
also what was ur baller neg idea
me: ok so i have a few
awesome neg ideas
i woke up and was like
HOLY SIHT
I HAVE SO MANY
GOOD NEG IDEAS
and then i masturbated
AND HAD EVEN MORE GOOD IDEAS
Larry: LOL
ok
wut r they
me: ok so first
it's a 7 minute k arguging
everything is morally ok
to do
RIGHT
REALLY GOOD IDEA
and then
the next argument
Larry: ...
me: is a 6 minute k
of the word
"affirm"
vic
it's a vic
Larry: har har
me: and then after that
Larry: you so funny
me: it's 1 minute of
pulling your pants down
and taking a dump
on their flow
so they can't respond
to the vic
Larry: LOLOL
me: unless they want to touch the poo
I KNOW
GREAT IDEA

Larry: I wish I had hit puberty before 10th grade.

Larry: I'm like so handsome, you see this face?

[1:26:37 AM] Larry Liu: i also LOVE justin bieber
[1:26:43 AM] Larry Liu: NEVER SAY NEVER!

Me: You see what I posted in chat?
Larry: oh, yea.
Me: funny right?
Larry: yea, real funny...
Me: fuck you

Crinkly Fresh

I've moved into my new blog and hopefully all goes well. I've moved some of my older posts into this one and will probably start updating this soon. I'm at the airport right now so I should go catch my flight before I'm stranded. Well not stranded considering I'm 15 minutes away from my house but before I miss my flight.

Popmark or Bookcorn

These are my currently bookmarked movies on PassThePopcorn. I’m waiting for DVDrips on all of these to materialize. I realize that this is just a list of movies to come out recently, but whatevs.

Shawn Levy - Date Night

Matthew Vaughn - Kick-Ass

Louis Leterrier - Clash of the Titans

Steve Pink - Hot Tub Time Machine

Dean DeBlois & Chris Sanders - How To Train Your Dragon

Mark Steven Johnson - When in Rome

Andy Tennant - The Bounty Hunter

Miguel Sapochnik - Repo Men

Jim Field Smith - She’s Out of My League

Tim Burton - Alice in Wonderland

Antoine Fuqua - Brooklyn’s Finest

Kevin Smith - Cop Out

Tim Blake Nelson - Leaves of Grass

Chris Columbus - Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

Joe Johnston - The Wolfman

Breck Eisner - The Crazies

Garry Marshall - Valentine’s Day

Pierre Morel - From Paris with Love

Martin Campbell - Edge of Darkness

Michael Spierig - Daybreakers

Michael J. Bassett - Solomon Kane

Martin Scorsese - Shutter Island

Albert Hughes - The Book of Eli

Miguel Arteta - Youth in Revolt

Druxting

Via Facebook.

Katrina Ludwig: soo…. i mean our chat was interesting at 8:12 am
p.s. I am including your amazing spelling of things…
you: penis factoiry
me: cute charles
you:no ur cute
me:i am so cute!
you:i am giogn to sleeep. don’t get anyan cuter!

Charles Chy: i wish you would stop drunk texting me

Katrina Ludwig: OH PLEASE! do not even get me started! i did not even. your “penis factory” text at 201 was greatly appreciated. bitch.

Charles Chy: i apparently sent out quite a few of those O.o

Kristen Nymberg: at least he didn’t tell you you had pennies in your vagina

Katrina Ludwig: oh god

Valerie MacLaughlin: omg i loved how i received texts from u charles, describing how big your penis was. thanks

Katrina Ludwig: Oh wait, I’m sorry Charles. Who needs to atop drunk texting? Hahahahaaha

Sintelligence

I was playing a game of Dota just now and had been watching the movie Charlie Bartlett on Showtime. Along the way the movie ended and it switched onto one of those high production value (relatively) softcore porno’s. I started paying attention when my game ended and they were doing a scene where the actress (female pornstar) has a conversation online with a random guy. I had two problems with this. The first being that the conversation was talking place on an open word document and you could see her typing both parts of the conversation. I mean really. Example follows:

Roan:
Who is going to keep you safe when I’m gone?

Trish:
My stocker.

Which leads me to my second point, the character types in “stocker” when she meant “stalker”. And I know this is true instead of her (still incorrectly) intending something along the lines of a person who uses the stock market because of the continuing portion of the conversation.

Trish: Yea, my stocker, he’s been following me around the past few days and making sure that I’m safe.

It kind of astounds me that of all the people that had gone into producing this movie, NO ONE, was able to correctly spell “stalker”.

Omegle at 5 AM

I seriously went 6/6 on instant disconnects; not feeling the love.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi! Do you happen to have blue hair?
You: no but i have 3 cocks
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: asl?
You: do you want to play hide the zuchinni?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: i m male
You: they call me simba, will you be part of my gay pride
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: 20 m usa
Stranger: hi
You: i can’t taste the flavor sour
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: i can’t see my feet over my stomach anymore
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: soooooooooo bored
You: let’s be facebook friends
Your conversational partner has disconnected.